Mammogram...

Wednesday 30 November 2011

Mammograms are not fun.  First of all you have to wear these gowns that open down the front and go sit in a room with ancient womens's magazines.  For the price you pay for these things would it kill them to include a facial or a foot rub??

So we had the initial mammogram, then the 'lets just have a look from a different angle mammogram.  Double ouch.

Then it was off to the Ultrasound room where a lovely lass squirted me from ribcage to neck with warm gel and gave me a thorough exam then excused herself to get the doctor, who came in with the absolue worst 'bedside expression' on her face that I have ever seen in my life.
Perhaps it's her usual expression but someone needs to video her so she can see "What Not To Look Like When Things Don't Look Good!!"  Hand to G-d, she looked like someone was holding a gun to her temple. 

She explained that the lump "Didn't look good," and that she wanted to do a biopsy.  Even with local anasthetic, this didn't tickle!!!  The needle biopsy of the lymph node that looked a bit dodgy was ok, but the 3 bites out of the tumour were right up there on the "Crikey!" meter.

I mentioned that I had a 5pm appointment with Dr Hanna for my results (that I expected to take away with me) but wondered if I should postpone and go see her when the biopsy results were back.  This doctor's response... "go to see your GP, she'll need to get the ball rolling on this as soon as possible."

OoooKaaay!  This sounded like it could get bad fairly fast.

I kept it together until I got in the lift then I started weeping.   Not an "Oh my G-d, I'm going to die!!" sort of thing, more of a "How am I going to go through this, work and pay my mortgage?" sort of thing.

I remember sitting in my car thinking there was no point in praying that it would go away.  G-d didn't put the tumour there, so instead of begging for the unreasonable I found myself praying for strength and for Angels to stand beside me for support to get me through whatever came next.

Then I went off to see Dr Hanna.

I remember my face was cold and prickly with what I suppose it was the onset of shock.  I also remember getting a bit miffed at the idea that shock would rob me of my ability to think clearly so I mentally shoved hard against it and it just melted away!  Excellent :)

My fear was financial.  I had a job that paid the bills but no medical insurance.  How was I going to cope?

Dr Hanna was great, she explained that my Superannuation fund has an income protection insurance and apparently the government (say what you like about them, but I bless them to the skies!!) will assist with any shortfall.  Phew!  Pressure lifting.